Unlocking Goal Achievement: Overcoming Common Roadblocks
If you've been reflecting on your 2023 goals and feeling that you haven't made the progress you hoped for, you're not alone. This is a common challenge many of us face, but there are solutions to help you get back on track. Let's explore some of the reasons why goals often go unmet and discover actionable ways to overcome them. First up, let’s look at why you may not have made the progress you wanted:
The goals you set, weren’t really yours
When you set your objectives based on external expectations or what you believe you "should" want, your drive often stems from the desire to please others or conform to societal norms. This means there is a lack of intrinsic motivation which can be a significant stumbling block to achieving the goals.
Even when you manage to achieve such externally imposed goals, the satisfaction derived from them is typically shallow and fleeting. You might find yourself feeling unfulfilled and dissatisfied.
Moreover, goals that clash with your personal values and beliefs can create a sense of discomfort as you work towards objectives that are in contrast to your beliefs. This misalignment can be emotionally and psychologically taxing, further impeding your journey toward achievement.
It can also be easy to feel like you're living someone else's life, leading to a sense of emptiness and unfulfillment, as if you're neglecting your own path in favour of someone else's.
Fear of Failure
The fear of failure is often rooted in the concern of being judged or ridiculed by others for falling short of expectations and this worry can be so overwhelming it stops you from taking action. It can also make you risk averse which limits your opportunities for achieving your goals.
Those who fear failure often tend to overemphasise potential negative outcomes, to the detriment of considering positive results. This skewed perspective can lead them to see obstacles as insurmountable, even when they are entirely achievable.
Failure is a natural part of life and of going after goals. Those who fear failure may lack the resilience necessary to bounce back from setbacks. They often interpret failures as personal shortcomings rather than opportunities to learn and improve, hindering their progress.
Fear of Success
The fear of success, while seemingly counterintuitive, is a real and significant obstacle to achieving one's goals.
Success often ushers in new challenges, responsibilities and changes and meaning a disruption to our routines and a need to step out of our comfort zone. There is often a fear in this uncertainty and individuals may resort to self-sabotage as a means to undermine their progress in an attempt to avoid venturing into unfamiliar territory.
Self-worth issues can exacerbate the fear of success when individuals don’t believe they are deserving of success. The mere prospect of success can intensify these feelings of self-doubt, preventing them from taking the necessary steps to achieve their goals.
Success often raises the bar, resulting in increased expectations from others. The fear of falling short of these heightened expectations can generate anxiety and pressure, leading to self-sabotage as individuals worry about the scrutiny and judgment that may accompany success.
Success is not just a one-time accomplishment; it often requires continuous effort to maintain. The fear of success often stems from concerns about sustaining what has been achieved. The ongoing responsibility and effort required can be daunting for those who feel overwhelmed by the prospect of success.
Putting others first
Prioritising others can lead to neglecting your goals as your mental and emotional resources are directed elsewhere. This imbalance of priorities also makes it difficult to allocate time and resources for your own goals which makes it harder for you to concentrate and focus on your goals.
Achieving goals often requires sustained effort, and if you’re neglecting yourself you can have diminished energy levels, leaving you nothing left over to help you make progress. Neglecting your own needs and wants can also prevent you from leveraging your strengths and abilities to achieve your goals. All of this can also strain relationships, as you may become irritable, stressed, or distant. This can lead to interpersonal conflicts and distractions from your goal pursuit.
You don’t know the action you should be taking
Without a roadmap of actions steps you’ll find it challenging to stay motivated and focused.
A lack of direction like this can result in aimless efforts and a feeling of being lost in the pursuit of your objectives, meaning you may be prone to procrastination and inaction or hesitation and delays in getting started on your goals.
Without knowing your steps, you can feel overwhelmed. The sheer magnitude of the goal and the uncertainty of how to approach it can result in paralysis – not knowing what to do first, halting any progress. You might even end up wasting time and resources on trial-and-error approaches slowing your progress and leading to frustration.
Without a clear action plan, it's challenging to maintain focus, getting easily distracted or doing other tasks. You’re also unable to track your progress and it becomes much harder to know whether you’re making any headway towards your goal or not and won’t be able to make any necessary adjustments.
Uncertainty of what steps to take can make you doubt whether you’re even capable of achieving this goal so you become demotivated. You might also miss out on valuable opportunities that could help you reach your goals because you aren't equipped with the knowledge of what actions to take.
Goal Vagueness
When goals are vague its difficult to track progress and stay motivated, as you might not even recognise when you've achieved them or made progress. You may expend time and energy on tasks that don't fit with your objectives, leading to wasted efforts.
Unclear goals can feel overwhelming, causing procrastination and inaction. You might delay taking steps because you don't know where to start or how to break down the goal into manageable tasks resulting in indecision. You may struggle to make choices or prioritise actions because you're uncertain about which tasks are right to do.
Lack of clarity can lead to inconsistent focus. You might find yourself shifting between different tasks or goals, not staying committed to any one objective. As a result of unclear goals, you may even experience confusion and frustration. You might not understand why you're not making the desired progress or why you keep encountering obstacles.
You doubt yourself
Self-doubt can chip away at our self-confidence, making it challenging to take the necessary steps toward our goals. It can result in hesitation and second-guessing, impeding our progress. We can also become more risk-averse, avoiding situations where we might not succeed.
When we doubt ourselves is often when the inner critic shows up. They can be relentless, continuously undermining our self-belief and reinforcing our doubts which is demoralising and paralysing. Doubting our abilities often happens because we set impossibly high standards for ourselves and this perfectionism can lead to procrastination and a fear of taking action. We start to overthink and over-analyse everything and we may excessively ponder the potential outcomes and consequences of our actions, leading to indecision and inaction.
Finally, self-doubt often leads to underestimating our own capabilities. We might not recognise our strengths and potential, leading us to overlook opportunities for growth and progress.
Collaborative goals when others aren’t as invested
When others involved in your goals aren't as invested as you are, progress can be limited due to lack of cooperation or encouragement. You may observe that you've been facing obstacles or resistance from others in your pursuit of shared goals.
If you are more invested in the project than others, the you might be driven to move forward quickly, while others may be more complacent which leads to tension and conflict.
Shared goals often require collective decision-making. When not everyone is equally invested, decisions can be delayed, hindering progress and causing frustration. As a result you may find yourself contributing more time, effort and resources and this imbalance can be demotivating and hinder your progress or even a standstill.
The lack of investment from others can result in limited support when you need it. You might find yourself needing to motivate and inspire the group, taking on a leadership role that can be exhausting.
Success in shared goals often depends on effective collaboration. If others aren't as invested, collaboration can be challenging, as they may not fully engage in the process or share your vision.
If you recognised yourself in any / all of the above, then don’t despair! There are things you can do to help:
When the goals you set, weren’t really yours
Start by examining what about the goal isn’t yours and where it came from. If you’re only setting it because you feel you ought to, then can you let go of it? Sometimes we have a goal, but the reasoning behind it varies. For example, you might set yourself the target of going to the gym 4 times a week and this is because you feel you should – everyone else does and you want to fit in. If you don’t actually mind about fitting in or not, this why is not going to be strong enough motivation for you. However, you might want to get fitter so that you can play with your children more. This is a much stronger motivator for you and will help you reach the goal of going to the gym (or changing it and deciding to go for a walk everyday instead).
Even when they’re not ours, there are some goals we still have to achieve (eg they might be set by our manager). Here are some ideas for you to try:
Look for elements within the goal that you can connect with. There’s often something you can identify with – focus on this to make the task more engaging.
Find connections between the imposed goal and your personal or professional objectives. Demonstrating success in your assigned tasks can indirectly support your broader goals.
Try to shift your thinking – see it as an to improve or learn something new.
Break the larger goal into smaller, more manageable parts. By achieving these micro-goals, you can experience a sense of progress and accomplishment, even if the overall goal is less motivating.
Imagine the positive outcomes and benefits from achieving the goal. This can help boost your motivation and focus on the end results.
When it’s a work goal try to discuss it with your manager. Ask if you can have some autonomy in how you approach and achieve the goal which will help make it feel more personalised.
Manage your time and prioritise tasks effectively, ensuring it doesn't overshadow tasks that are more personally fulfilling.
Collaborate with others who may have insights or suggestions on how to approach the goal. Their perspectives and experiences can provide valuable guidance.
Fear of failure
Understand that failure is a natural part of learning and developing. This is known as a growth mindset and helps us see setbacks as opportunities or lessons.
Change your perspective on failure. Instead of viewing it as a negative outcome, see it as feedback that can inform your next steps and lead to success.
Reflect on past failures and setbacks. Use what you've learned as you go. These insights can provide reassurance for future tries.
Establish realistic, achievable goals and expectations. You still want to push yourselves, but the original goal has to be doable.
Don’t see the goal as one big thing. Instead, divide your goal into smaller, manageable tasks. Achieving these can boost your confidence and reduce the fear of failing at a larger objective.
Pay attention to your inner dialogue and challenge negative self-talk. Replace self-criticism with self-encouragement.
Build resilience by practicing coping strategies for adversity. This can include stress reduction techniques, mindfulness and meditation to help you better manage failure-related stress.
Share your fears and concerns with friends, family, or a coach. This can provide emotional support and fresh perspectives.
Gradually expose yourself to risk by taking calculated steps outside your comfort zone. As you become more accustomed to calculated risks, your fear of failure can decrease.
Concentrate on the journey and the efforts you're making rather than solely fixating on the final result. This shift in focus can alleviate the pressure of potential failure.
Remind yourself it's okay to fail, this will help you release some of the fear of judgment or inadequacy. Acknowledge and celebrate your achievements, no matter how small. This will boost your confidence and lessen the fear of future failures.
Fear of success
Start by understanding what aspects of success you're afraid of. Reflect on your fears and the potential changes that success might bring.
Establish your personal definition of success, aligning it with your values and aspirations. When you define success in a way that resonates with you, it becomes less intimidating.
Divide the journey to success into smaller, achievable milestones to reduce feelings of overwhelm.
Create a positive mental image of success and its outcomes. Focus on the benefits, such as personal growth, fulfilment and happiness.
Accept change is part of everything. Develop strategies to cope with and embrace the unknown, such as mindfulness and stress management techniques.
Recognise success comes with challenges and responsibilities and see them as opportunities.
Share your fears with friends, family, or a coach. Discussing your fear of success with trusted individuals can provide insight, support, and reassurance.
Concentrate on the next actions required, rather than dwelling on the end result to make it feel more manageable.
Acknowledge and celebrate your achievements along the way. Recognising your progress as you go helps you get used to success.
Work on building self-worth and self-esteem which will boost your confidence in your abilities.
Create strategies to manage the pressures and responsibilities success might bring eg time management, stress reduction and organisation techniques.
Prioritising others
Set clear boundaries to cover when and how much you can assist others. Recognise the importance of protecting your time and energy.
Make self-care a non-negotiable part of your day. By looking after your physical and mental well-being you’ll ensure you have the energy to pursue your own goals.
Allocate specific time in your schedule for your personal goals and aspirations. Treat this time with the same level of importance as you would for any other commitment.
Be open with others about your own goals and needs. Explain the importance of achieving your objectives and seek their understanding and support. Don’t rely on them being mind readers.
If possible, delegate or share tasks and responsibilities with others so you can free up time for your personal pursuits.
Practice effective time management to boost productivity so you can accomplish your commitments to others and your personal goals.
Develop the ability to say no when necessary. Prioritise your commitments and recognise it's okay to decline additional tasks when you're stretched too thin.
Enlist the help of others to support you in balancing your responsibilities. This may include childcare, caregiving, or other forms of assistance.
Find ways to match your personal goals with shared objectives so you can integrate your goals with your commitment to others.
Acknowledge and celebrate your achievements in both your personal goals and your responsibilities to others. Recognising your progress can reinforce your motivation.
Practice self-compassion and avoid self-criticism. Accept that you have your own dreams and needs and it's essential to pursue them without guilt.
Share your goals with a trusted friend, mentor, or coach who can help hold you accountable. Having external accountability can ensure you stay committed to your personal aspirations.
You don’t know the actions you should be taking
Start by revisiting and clarifying your goals. Try making SMART goals (specific, measurable, achievable, relevant and time-bound). The more precise your goals, the easier it is to identify the necessary actions.
Reach out to mentors, coaches, or experts who can provide insights and guidance on the actions required to achieve your goals. They can help you create a detailed plan.
Invest time in research and education related to your goals. Explore books, courses and resources that can provide you with the knowledge and skills needed for your actions.
Based on your support and research, create a step-by-step action plan that outlines the specific tasks and deadlines necessary to reach your goals.
Divide your larger goals into smaller, manageable tasks to make it easier to focus on individual actions and track progress.
Determine which tasks are the most crucial for goal attainment and prioritise them. This ensures you allocate your energy to the actions that matter most.
Define key checkpoints to monitor your progress. These can help you stay on track and celebrate smaller victories along the way.
Manage your time effectively by allocating dedicated slots in your schedule for working on your goals.
Share your goals and action plan with someone you trust, like a friend or coach, who can hold you accountable for your progress and provide encouragement.
Don't be afraid to experiment and adapt your actions as you go. Trial and error is a natural part of the learning process.
Periodically review your progress and make adjustments to your action plan if necessary. Being flexible and open to change can lead to more effective actions.
Your goal is too vague
Start by refining and clarifying your goal. Make it more specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound (SMART). This clarity provides a clear direction.
Understand your underlying motivations and reasons behind your goal. Identifying your "why" can provide purpose and make the goal more meaningful.
Divide your vague goal into smaller, concrete tasks or milestones which allows you to focus on individual steps.
Create a vivid mental image of what achieving your goal will look like. Visualisation can help you see the end result more clearly and stay motivated.
Establish specific deadlines for different aspects of your goal. This adds a sense of urgency and structure to your actions.
Develop a detailed action plan that outlines the tasks, resources and timelines needed to achieve your goal. Having a roadmap can reduce vagueness.
Monitor your progress regularly. Keep track of your achievements and make adjustments to your plan as necessary.
Share your goal and action plan with someone you trust who can hold you accountable and provide feedback. Explaining your goal to others can help you get more specific with it.
Be open to feedback and seek input from others who have expertise in your goal. Their insights can refine your approach and provide clarity.
Regularly revisit your goal and its components. Refine and update it as needed to reflect your evolving understanding and insights.
Concentrate on the daily actions and progress, which can provide more clarity and motivation.
You doubt yourself
Start by recognising and acknowledging your self-doubt. Understand the specific thoughts and beliefs that contribute to it.
Pay attention to your inner dialogue and actively challenge negative self-talk. Replace self-criticism with self-compassion and positive affirmations.
Adopt a growth mindset, which views challenges and setbacks as opportunities for learning and growth. This perspective can help you reframe self-doubt.
Establish realistic and achievable goals that build your confidence as you work towards the bigger objective.
Create a mental image of your success. This can help build confidence and decrease self-doubt by focusing on positive outcomes.
Share your doubts and fears with trusted friends, family, or a coach. Sometimes, discussing your self-doubt with others can provide emotional support and fresh perspectives.
Acknowledge and celebrate your accomplishments, no matter how small as this will boost your confidence.
Work on building resilience by practicing coping strategies for adversity including stress reduction techniques, mindfulness and meditation to help you better manage self-doubt.
Understand perfectionism can fuel self-doubt, so instead of aiming for perfection, focus on progress.
Find positive role models who can inspire and guide you. Learning from their journeys and challenges can help you overcome self-doubt.
Don't wait for self-doubt to disappear before taking action. Act despite your doubts and you may find that your confidence grows as you make progress.
It was a collaborative project and others didn’t buy into it
Initiate open and honest communication with the others involved. Express your enthusiasm and commitment and encourage them to share their perspectives as well.
Clearly define roles, responsibilities and expectations. Ensure everyone understands their part and the importance of their contributions.
Work together to create a shared vision for the goal. When everyone is part of shaping the objective, they are more likely to feel invested in its success.
Help others see the significance and purpose of the shared goal. When people see how the goal benefits them personally, they are more likely to become invested.
Be flexible and open to adjusting the shared goal as needed. Sometimes, others may become more invested when the goal evolves to better suit their needs.
Delegate tasks and responsibilities to individuals based on strengths and interests. This can increase their investment in the goal.
Acknowledge and celebrate the contributions of each team member. Recognising their efforts can boost motivation and investment.
When issues or obstacles arise, address them promptly together. Collaboratively finding solutions can help maintain enthusiasm and investment.
Demonstrate your commitment and dedication to the goal through your own actions to inspire others to follow suit.
If necessary, consider involving a mediator or a leader with influence who can help facilitate discussions and address any conflicts or concerns.
Create milestones and progress checks to track and celebrate achievements along the way. This keeps everyone engaged and motivated.
Offer opportunities for skill development and growth within the context of the shared goal. This can increase others' investment in the project.
The Power of Support: Achieving Your Goals with The Coaching Circle
We all have aspirations, dreams, and goals we'd like to accomplish. Whether it's advancing in our careers, improving our well-being, or pursuing personal passions, we often set out on these journeys with determination and enthusiasm. However, the path to achieving our goals can be filled with challenges and obstacles that may sometimes leave us feeling overwhelmed, stuck, or uncertain.
This is where the importance of support comes into play. Having the right kind of support can make a world of difference in our ability to navigate the hurdles, maintain motivation and stay on track toward success.
Why support matters:
When you have access to a knowledgeable and experienced community like The Coaching Circle, you benefit from valuable insights and expertise. We can offer guidance tailored to your specific goals, helping you make informed decisions and overcome challenges.
Being part of a supportive community provides a built-in system of accountability. When you commit to your goals within The Coaching Circle, you're not just making a promise to yourself but to a group of like-minded individuals who are there to cheer you on and help you stay accountable.
Achieving your goals can be a long and sometimes arduous journey. Having a support system that consistently offers motivation and encouragement can be the difference between giving up and pushing through when things get tough.
Sometimes, when we're too close to our goals, it can be challenging to see the bigger picture. Support from others can provide fresh perspectives and insights, helping you discover new solutions or approaches to achieving your objectives.
If you’re ready to start making actual progress with your goals, then come and join us.
