Your dopa-menu & why you need one.

Be honest - how much time do you spend scrolling on your phone every day?

I was at a fabulous talk last week at a small business networking event and the speaker mentioned how many hours we lose to scrolling on our phones every day. When I got home, I was curious and checked out my screen time.

I was shocked.

I do use my phone for work (and spend too much time fighting with reels on IG for my liking) and I do a lot of reading on my Kindle app on my phone - but even so I was horrified at the amount of time I spent on my phone and how many times I picked it up each day (we’re talking almost 4hours a day on my phone and picking it up an average of 75times a day).

Did you know 81% of people check their phones within 10minutes of waking up?

That’s me! I think it’s a hang over from my old job where I got into the dreadful habit of checking my emails first thing in the morning and last thing at night just in case a crisis had hit that I needed to prepare myself for.

It briefly relieved the anxiety, but then I’d get sucked into news and random rubbish on social media and that set the tone for the day.

This is one of the things I wanted to change.

Last Friday I decided I wanted to change my phone habits and started thinking about what might work for me.

Now, my rule is not to go onto news or social media until I’m up, washed, dressed, had breakfast, cleaned my teeth and made my bed - ie I’m ready for the day.

It’s still early days and I’m not managing every day just yet, but I do think it’s worth the effort.

Doomscrolling and dopamine

Ever the curious scientist, I’ve also been digging into what makes us so attached to our phones so that I know what I’m up against as I try to reduce my time on mine. Again and again the thing that comes up is dopamine. The way social media, scrolling and generally being on our phones (games anyone?) are designed is to give us tiny shots of dopamine. Not enough to keep us satisfied for long periods of time, but just enough to keep coming back for more.

New like on Facebook? Dopamine.

Someone commented on your IG post? Dopamine.

Watching a funny cat video? Dopamine.

You get the picture.

Every time we get a hit of dopamine, we get a pleasurable feeling which reinforces the behaviour (eg checking our phone) and makes us want to do it again and again.

During my research, I came across the ‘dopamine menu’. It was first talked about by Jessica McCabe in her YouTube video in 2020.

Simply put, a ‘dopamenu’ is a carefully curated list of things and items that bring you joy and give you a little lift. The idea is to have a collection of ideas that will help you feel motivated to create good habits, whilst breaking those that don’t help (ie being on your phone). Normally the contents help you prioritise your wellbeing in order to obtain that dose of dopamine.

Having this menu also helps with another reason we often fall into doomscrolling - never being able to decide what to do with our time. It might be we have 5minutes to spare or even 2hours but we can’t make a choice, so we just pick up our phones. Having your own dopamenu means you’ve always got a ready list of healthier habits and activities you can do that will make you feel good.

“Just like it’s really hard to make good food choices when you’re already hungry, it’s really hard to make good dopamine choices when you’re already low on dopamine”. (Jessica McCabe).

It’s much easier to make the healthier choice if we’ve already done that planning beforehand, so we’re not using all our executive functioning at the same time.

Creating your own dopamenu

There are a few versions of the dopamenu now, but generally it’s divided into 5 sections - starters, mains, sides, desserts and specials (but I’ve also seen them called different things, so whatever works for you). I’ve gone for:

Starters - quick and easy things that will give you a small hit of dopamine (about 5minutes). This can give you enough of a boost to kick start any motivation or action you’ve been putting off. As they’re only short, they won’t suck you in and use up all your time.

Mains - enjoyable and meaningful things that take a bit longer (30mins -2hours). Think of things that energise you, make you feel alive, ‘fill your cup’.This gives you time to engage with the activity and find some ‘flow’. This can help train your brain to do this when it comes to things on your to do list.

Sides - things you can do whilst doing a mundane task to make it more enjoyable.

Desserts - these are a bit of an indulgence (just like a hot fudge chocolate sundae) and should be done in moderation. Whilst they might make us feel good for a moment, don’t actually do much for us (things like mindless scrolling, or mindlessly binge watching TV). They’re fine in small amounts, but we don’t want a whole diet of them. Think of them as things you treat yourself with - often as a reward for having completed your task.

Specials - not for the everyday. These are longer, occasional activities that require a bit more money, time and planning. (I’ve heard them described as ‘an emergency reset button’). Often used when you’re overwhelmed or close to quitting a project.

The best thing about a dopamine menu is that it’s personal to you and what you get pleasure from. It forces you to think about what’s really important to you, and this can be the smallest thing like having an iced latte, or something bigger like spending the day at a spa.

When thinking about your own menu, try to include physical activity, something that gets your brain ticking, some self-care activities, plus a variety of length of activities.

I’ve created a dopamenu with some examples to help you get started. Pick things that work for you - even if they’re not on this list, and don’t over do it - you probably only want 4-5 ideas in each section. Once you’ve picked, designed your layout whichever way is going to work for you and put it where it’s easy to see. You don’t want to add any obstacles between you and your menu!