Trips down memory lane can get you closer to your goals.
It’s rainy and blustery out there and a bit too cold to sit outside. Instead, I’m cosy indoors, with thick socks and fairy lights.
I’m in the mood for the familiar and the comfortable, particularly when it comes to my reading and viewing habits. Currently, I'm very much enjoying re-reading The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern. I first read it with a bookclub about 7 years ago and it took ages to get into and I got a bit confused. By the end though, I didn't want to leave the book or the world behind.
I'm also re-watching Monarch of the Glen - an absolute all time favourite programme of mine set in one of my favourite places. I think it also reminds me of my first professional job out of university when I worked in a similar environment.
As a coach, my work is to help clients focus on the future, but that doesn’t mean the past can’t be revisited and, as long as you're not going to stay there, can actually be beneficial. It can teach us to recognise patterns of behaviours, common reactions, why we procrastinate, what goals are actually important to us, what we’ve done well and what we could do better on.
This can be the big stuff, or the everyday and whilst enjoying memories and things that have made us happy before, doesn’t have to mean anything - sometimes if we scratch the surface there are hidden gems there.
For example, I can enjoy rereading The Night Circus and rewatching Monarch of the Glen just because I am. They are well written, entertaining and provide a bit of escapism (and right now who doesn’t need a bit of that?) However, I can also dig a bit deeper to see if there's something a bit more going on that can then help me in my future.
As I said, Monarch of the Glen reminds me of my first job and a tiny part of me wishes I could go back. Why? Because, although there were the inevitable lows that come with any job, it was a happy time, a beautiful setting, a short commute and it felt like family. Something I've been searching for ever since in my professional life and not quite found.
Through being coached and journalling, I can put myself back in that role and identify the things I loved most about it (the family feel, the small team, the environment etc) and make sure that I’m getting enough of that in my current work. I can also recognise anything I don’t want to take with me. I am aware that I took some of my reactions and behaviours to my next job (checking emails out of hours, from home anyone? Prioritising other people’s to-do lists before my own?) so my boundaries weren't as good as they should have been. Now I'm aware of this, I can work on it and wish I’d done this in between the two jobs.
It's that time of year when you’ll see lots of people and social media posts about 'reflecting back' on the past 12months and working out how to make 2023 even better. To some this might seem unnecessary, to others it might be a bit 'fluffy' or 'wishy washy' - but it all comes down to how you do it. It can be as simple as the above example - why am I craving this comfort right now? Or it can be a bit more in depth.
At my old job we had yearly appraisals / reviews. They were the chance to look back and see everything I'd accomplished (I have a tendency to forget the positives) and look at the things I still had to achieve. We looked at what had stopped me and what I could do to get things moving. When it was done well, it made such a difference. I was more effective, more productive, I felt better about myself and my contribution. In fact, though I resisted it at the time, having more regular check-ins throughout the year (eg quarterly), rather than leaving it all until the 12month review, was actually much more beneficial. It can be so easy to set goals, then work and life get in the way and we forget about them or get thrown off course. 12 months can sometimes be too long to wait for a course correction.
This is the sort of thing I mean when I talk about 'reflections'. I also don't believe you have to wait until the end of one year, or the beginning of another. When you get the hang of it you can do it weekly, or even monthly (I’d recommend doing it at least seasonally).
Whether you're in full time employment or education, whether you are part-time, have a side-hustle, are self-employed, just starting a business, are retired or a stay at home carer/parent, it's important to give yourself time to check in with how you're doing and what needs to change.
I’d love to know if you spend time thinking back on periods of your life, or aspects of what’s been happening. How do you find it helpful? What do you learn?
If you’re new to it, then My Reflections Journal will help guide you through this process. It's undated, so can be done at any time for any period of time.
If you'd like to see how we can work together on your reflections or what you find out, then get in touch.
